Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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