bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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