Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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