Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
