He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
do herpes really smell.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
