absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he thought i was a dude.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Randomize
