ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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