Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize