Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
