He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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