This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
