The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
