The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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