I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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