hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm getting married
To pizza
Randomize
