HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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