Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
