I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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