yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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