I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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