Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Life is so much better after having sex.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My vagina is very pro this idea
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
