Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
