Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
