I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
