Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
