it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
