yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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