Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.

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  (630): We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed. http://tfl.nu/qpmm
  Replies (101) Good night (30844) Bad night (4850)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?

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  (251): if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me? http://tfl.nu/7eei
  Replies (26) Good night (6872) Bad night (700)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars

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  (561): Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars http://tfl.nu/5ijc
  Replies (12) Good night (6243) Bad night (862)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..

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  (252): He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it.. http://tfl.nu/x7yt
  Replies (20) Good night (1497) Bad night (5886)
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  (707): View more from California

  I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class

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  (707): I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class http://tfl.nu/fiu2
  Replies (12) Good night (4324) Bad night (871)
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  (415): View more from California

  Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.

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  (415): Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time. http://tfl.nu/wfi0
  Replies (5) Good night (2076) Bad night (786)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car

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  (250): Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car http://tfl.nu/u2fj
  Replies (3) Good night (2202) Bad night (474)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne

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  (775): We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne http://tfl.nu/t4g9
  Replies (5) Good night (1158) Bad night (440)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.

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  (781): perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax. http://tfl.nu/ar2h
  Replies (0) Good night (827) Bad night (1166)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?

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  (321): Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding? http://tfl.nu/i6fm
  Replies (15) Good night (1219) Bad night (886)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..

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  (501): I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half.. http://tfl.nu/kmcb
  Replies (2) Good night (673) Bad night (320)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.

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  (612): Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted. (218): And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face. http://tfl.nu/e0j5
  Replies (2) Good night (736) Bad night (256)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.

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  (978): You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut. http://tfl.nu/pq6k
  Replies (3) Good night (541) Bad night (301)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.

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  (907): Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again. http://tfl.nu/nki8
  Replies (5) Good night (608) Bad night (203)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!

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  (412): I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?! (412): Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?! http://tfl.nu/zxwf
  Replies (2) Good night (422) Bad night (194)

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