i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.