I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.