Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

Hey it's Austin.

(254): View more from Texas

I am not drunk enough for this conversation.

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(719): View more from Colorado

physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.

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(314): View more from Missouri

There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.

(818): View more from California

Punch her baby.

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(512): View more from Texas

I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(517): View more from Michigan

sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.

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(315): View more from New York

Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.

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(727): View more from Florida

hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.

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(912): View more from Georgia

Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life

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