It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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