just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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