what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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