You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
