he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
