Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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