I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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