his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
