just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
