I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize