come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
