cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
porn star boner night. come get it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
