Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
