Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
