I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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