At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
