we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
