If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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