I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize