Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
