His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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