apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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