So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
