on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
