Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
farters have to be the big spoon...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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