so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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