the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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