It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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