I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
someone owes me an orgasm
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
A+ Viking dick
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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