He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
