I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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