He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
