So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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