No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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